And another Idol season comes to a close. I can’t believe it has been 10 years (and I am still watching this stupid show! haha)
Ryan tells us that there were 122 Million votes. That’s what happens when you leave the phone and text lines open for 4 hours, and tweens have unlimited texting packages. There is going to be a whole generation of girls born in the late 90s in North Carolina that will have carpel tunnel. An epidemic, is coming, I’m telling you.
After the obligatory judges intro, we get the kids singing their first group song…Born This Way. Didn’t they already do this as a group song? Can’t they pick another GaGa song? shouldn’t she have, like, a greatest hits album to choose from?
The first “Idol with their idol” performance of the evening is James Durbin singing with Judas Priest. I loved this! Loved it! Pyro! Pyro! America is giving metal a chance, James!
The judges get ribbed a bit in some video packages. I wish Randy would realize that he sounds ridic, and this video clip is not laughing with him, it is laughing at him.
Jacob Lusk sings with Kirk Franklin and Gladys Knight, and a huge gospel choir. I think they pre-pay a year in advance for a gospel choir for the finale, so Jacob got the honor this year.
Casey and Jack Black sang Fat Bottomed Girls! This was hilarious! They should do skits and upload them on youtube. Viral, people! Viral!
The ladies are up next singing a Beyonce medley – with Beyonce (naturally. It is the Idol Finale after all.) Haley sounded amazing, Pia sounded pretty good, and surprisingly Asht(h)on sounded pretty good, too. But Beyonce kind of took them all to school. That girl has some bootylicious skills that no other human can match.
Haley is up next dueting with Tony Bennett singing Steppin Out With My Baby. Love this! This girl goes from singing Zeppelin to singing with Tony Bennett. I believe the “sing the phone book” line could be used with this one. I already miss you, Haley!
So, up next is TLC and Lil John (Yeee-ahhh), who are obviously lip syncing. They are performing with Naima, Asht(h)on, Karen, and Thia. I’m not going to lie…I forgot about Thia. This was a little lame.
Scotty McCreery and Tim McGraw sing a duet, where Scotty actually sounds better than Tim. Maybe Scotty will be pretty good!
JLO & Marc finally get their moment in the spotlight, with JLo trying to outdo Beyonce’s booty. Sorry, JLo, Beyonce gets to booty shaking edge tonight.
The guys sing a little Tom Jones medley with Tom Jones. The girls get Beyonce and the guys get Tom Jones? Really?
Lauren and Scotty are up next and each got to invite a favorite teacher to the finale! I’ll bet they were thrilled! Aw, and then on top of that, they get a car! Yay for the teachers! This is my favorite moment of the show so far.
They had to do the teacher bit off the stage so they could prep Lady Gaga on the stage next. She is standing half naked on a cliff. Scotty, you better kiss your cross!
Lauren is up next singing with Carrie! And Lauren was schooled. SCHOOLED. Carrie held that whole duet, and quite frankly was holding back to not overshadow Lauren. Consummate professional, that season 4 winner.
Beyonce singing her new single regarding a first grade math problem. But her emotion on that stage? I want to vote for her. What is her number, Ryan?
Getting towards the end, I thought perhaps a Lauren/Scotty duet. But no…Spiderman. Bono is a classic, but this was more filler.
The last pre-announcement performance was by Mr. Steven Tyler who proved that he may be irrelevant at the judges table, but he is still relevant on stage, despite being snubbed by his band. I was hoping he might perform with the kids, but alas, there was no Gokey this year, so he held it on his own.
Finally, in the least shocking results show ever, Scotty takes the crown and we have to hear arguably the worst hit single to come out of this show. When I heard it last night, I dreaded this moment. However, it seemed slightly less annoying because I was distracted by the streamers, confetti, Jack Black’s snub, and JLo and Haley having a convo in the background without claws or death eyes.
Whelp, here at idolreview.net, we (meaning I) rooted for the girls, and failed yet again. For all the Laurens, Haleys, Crystals, Syeshas and Allisons out there, one day we will again be victorious! There is always season 11, after all.
Thanks again, all ye readers, for a great season of Idol. It has definitely been one of the most controversial ones in awhile. I appreciate your comments and read every one! Remember to follow me on Twitter, Facebook, and tune back in in September, because I will be blogging X Factor! Simon and Paula together again? How could I not watch that inevitable trainwreck.